Honesty

It is interesting to me that there often seems to be a pretty big disconnect between the way we see ourselves and the way others see us. We often believe that we look, act, or behave differently that actually comes across to others. For instance, I can have a picture in my mind about the way I looked at a particular event but when I see the pictures, it comes across very different. In the past I believed that I was a pretty upbeat positive person until my husband shared with me that he just couldn't take my negativity each day when he got home from work. Finally, I had a friend share with me that her interpretation of events that occurred between us were very different that my own.

For many different reasons, our perceptions of ourselves don't quite match up with reality. Sometimes it is good to have a different perception in order to protect ourselves; in all honesty, if we constantly focused on the truth of our imperfections and shortcomings we would be continually depressed and unable to function in our daily lives, however, if we want to see real growth and change occur in our lives, we must begin to be honest with ourselves, others, and God about the areas that need change.

It isn't easy to separate the fact from fiction; we have all been living the fiction for so long. First you have to get honest with yourself. The first step to seeing real change in your life is admitting that you have a problem. I have been attending church essentially since birth and as such I have a reputation both privately and publicly. When I recognized that I wanted to grow in my walk with the Lord, the first step was admitting that while I knew a lot about God, I didn't really know God. I had never really had the deep relationship that I craved. While I had always loved God and believed the Bible and allowed biblical teaching to direct my life, I had never really pursued the deep relationship that I so craved.

The next step you can take is to enlist a good friend to help you discern the truth. It is important to let that person know that in this area, you value honesty above all. Share with this person the change that you would like to see (weight loss, better relationships, quality quiet time with God, etc.). Then tell her that for this season, in this area you need her to be completely open and honest with you about what she sees. I had to admit to a good friend that while I presented myself as a strong Christian (which in many ways I was) I had never allowed myself to truly immerse myself in the word and in prayer in a way that would bring me into a deeper relationship with God in which I could truly know him in a much deeper way (it was really scary).

Finally, get honest with God. God is big enough to handle all of your failings and he already knows what they are so go to him in prayer and ask for his strength and guidance. It was life changing to approach God on my knees and admit to him and myself that while I had always tried to be a good Christian, I know that I hadn't always tried to have a deep relationship with him. Wow, that prayer opened up a whole to depth to my relationship with him and allowed me to finally move forward in my Christian walk.

In the end I realized that the thing that held me back more than anything was my inability to be honest with God, myself, and others. When we are fighting to maintain the lie that we have built about our lives, we have no energy left to fight to make it true. Once we admit our weakness and allow others to come in and help us to grow, we can finally move forward.

What lies have you been telling God, yourself, and others? I challenge you to pick just one area, get honest with yourself, ask God and others for help and put in the work that it takes to change that one area of your life. It is amazing the freedom that comes from being honest and the power that it gives you to finally move forward.