Often we get the feeling that there needs to be change in our lives, but, we have no idea what kind of change we need. We just feel "blah." It is unclear why we feel this way but we know that if we don't change something, and fast, that nasty little enemy called depression will be knocking at our doors in no time.
It is hard to know what to change when you are feeling lack luster in general. It could be your career that needs a boost. Your relationships might need a recharge. A new hobby could be the spark that you have been looking for. Possibly it is your spirituality that needs a boost. In my own life, I have enacted change in all of these areas (but not all at once) in order get my life moving in the right direction. Maybe you too could regain the sparkle in your life by enacting change.
When I find myself with that vague "blah" feeling, I start out by making a list. I make a list of all the things I want to try. I list all the things I think I need to change. I recall things that others have encouraged me to change. I make a complete and comprehensive list of all the things I could change in order to get moving forward with my life again; then I wait. I live with that list for a few days, sometimes a few weeks, and little by little I whittle that list down to a few things that I know that I can accomplish and I believe will make a difference in the way that I am feeling.
Are you feeling the way that I have felt so many times in my life? Could change be a good thing in your life? Start making your list and then tune in next week and I will give you some more tips about what to do with that list.
Simple enough. You can do this. Life change can start today!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Change Isn't Easy
Many times as I have struggled to enact life change, I have run into situations that are difficult or even impossible. When I encountered these challenges, many well-meaning friends and family members encouraged me to explore the possibility that those difficulties were a sign. They believed that the problems that I encountered were there to direct me away from a course that was wrong. While I agree, that, at times, difficulties are a sign that we are on the wrong path, often they are just obstacles to achieving the future that we hope for. Nothing worth having comes without a price. Sometimes these difficulties are just the price we pay to see growth and change in our lives.
I think of some famous examples of people who have overcome obstacles that would have made a lesser man or woman quit: I am sure that Mother Theresa had more than a few doubts as she faced many challenging days during her work in India. I believe that Lance Armstrong probably wanted to quit more than once as he battled cancer and again as he fought to reach the pinnacle of cycling after he had beaten the cancer. I am sure that you can come up with many more examples of great men and women who fought through the doubt and pain to achieve the greatness that they knew was theirs.
If you are facing struggles in your journey and you are beginning to doubt, it is time for a gut-check. Ask yourself: Are these struggles a part of the process or a sign? Do you believe you are on the right path or the wrong one? Do you need to reassess your goals or recommit yourself to the task at hand?
You are probably not working to help the poor in India or battling cancer in order to resume a professional cycling career but, whatever change you are working to implement in your life is worthwhile. Whether it is losing ten pounds, starting a new career, or finding a deeper faith in God, it is a valuable pursuit and worth fighting for. Don't allow the difficulty to dissuade you from your path. Your life is worth the fight. Go out there and keep fighting; it will all be worth it in the end.
I think of some famous examples of people who have overcome obstacles that would have made a lesser man or woman quit: I am sure that Mother Theresa had more than a few doubts as she faced many challenging days during her work in India. I believe that Lance Armstrong probably wanted to quit more than once as he battled cancer and again as he fought to reach the pinnacle of cycling after he had beaten the cancer. I am sure that you can come up with many more examples of great men and women who fought through the doubt and pain to achieve the greatness that they knew was theirs.
If you are facing struggles in your journey and you are beginning to doubt, it is time for a gut-check. Ask yourself: Are these struggles a part of the process or a sign? Do you believe you are on the right path or the wrong one? Do you need to reassess your goals or recommit yourself to the task at hand?
You are probably not working to help the poor in India or battling cancer in order to resume a professional cycling career but, whatever change you are working to implement in your life is worthwhile. Whether it is losing ten pounds, starting a new career, or finding a deeper faith in God, it is a valuable pursuit and worth fighting for. Don't allow the difficulty to dissuade you from your path. Your life is worth the fight. Go out there and keep fighting; it will all be worth it in the end.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Don't Worry
This week I was speaking with a friend who is on the cusp of some big things in her life. She got a new job a few months ago but the job is really stressful and she is not sure if she likes it. Now she is getting ready to move into a new apartment. The apartment will eliminate a nearly 2-hour daily commute and will allow her to get more rest, have more free time, and enable her to connect with co-workers and friends much more easily in her spare time (and now she will have almost 10 hours more of that per week). Most of you are probably thinking, "What's the problem?" Well, she is very worried right now. She is worried that the move won't work, she won't feel more rested, and she will just fill up that free time with more work instead of enjoyable activities. She could wind up more miserable than she is now.
We have all been here: on the verge of a big, positive life change that is very scary. Because it is so scary we give into that fear and begin to worry about all of the negative possibilities. The more we worry, the more we ensure that the change will not be good and all of those things that we have built up in our minds may really come true. Have you ever heard of self-fulfilling prophecy? By believing that something can/will happen, we actually make it happen; not because it was going to happen anyway but because we made it happen.
All of us are prone to worry. I worry about many things. However, I try not to end with my fears. I think of the worst case scenario and I process it. In the scenario of my friend, maybe all of the things that she fears will come to pass. If that happens, she will then know that her job is just way too stressful and not a career that she can enjoy long term. At that time, she can begin to think of a career that would be good for her and she can begin to pursue that career instead. She can LifeWalk a career change with me and we can work together to get her into a job that will not be so stressful. But, the move could be the thing that makes a big change for her. It could free up time for her to be able to pursue some things outside of work that bring her great joy and help to relieve that stress from work. With some of that stress eliminated, she could begin to really enjoy her job. That joy could translate to her doing better work. If she does better work she could get a raise or a promotion. Just as there is a possible worst case scenario, there is a potential best case scenario. Reality probably lies somewhere between the two. She just needs to give it time and allow it to reveal itself to her. Only then can she address the issues that actually arise, not just the ones that she imagines.
What are you worried about right now? What aspects can you control and what can't you control? What are your best/worst case scenarios? What would your reaction be to each of these?
Now that you have processed, you just have to live. Time will tell what will happen and when it does, you will be strong enough to get through whatever comes. Just make sure to have one or two good LifeWalking partners in the wings so that you will be ready when the time comes.
We have all been here: on the verge of a big, positive life change that is very scary. Because it is so scary we give into that fear and begin to worry about all of the negative possibilities. The more we worry, the more we ensure that the change will not be good and all of those things that we have built up in our minds may really come true. Have you ever heard of self-fulfilling prophecy? By believing that something can/will happen, we actually make it happen; not because it was going to happen anyway but because we made it happen.
All of us are prone to worry. I worry about many things. However, I try not to end with my fears. I think of the worst case scenario and I process it. In the scenario of my friend, maybe all of the things that she fears will come to pass. If that happens, she will then know that her job is just way too stressful and not a career that she can enjoy long term. At that time, she can begin to think of a career that would be good for her and she can begin to pursue that career instead. She can LifeWalk a career change with me and we can work together to get her into a job that will not be so stressful. But, the move could be the thing that makes a big change for her. It could free up time for her to be able to pursue some things outside of work that bring her great joy and help to relieve that stress from work. With some of that stress eliminated, she could begin to really enjoy her job. That joy could translate to her doing better work. If she does better work she could get a raise or a promotion. Just as there is a possible worst case scenario, there is a potential best case scenario. Reality probably lies somewhere between the two. She just needs to give it time and allow it to reveal itself to her. Only then can she address the issues that actually arise, not just the ones that she imagines.
What are you worried about right now? What aspects can you control and what can't you control? What are your best/worst case scenarios? What would your reaction be to each of these?
Now that you have processed, you just have to live. Time will tell what will happen and when it does, you will be strong enough to get through whatever comes. Just make sure to have one or two good LifeWalking partners in the wings so that you will be ready when the time comes.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Look How Far We've Come
I often find myself looking at all that I have to do rather than all that I have done. My mental "To Do" list is in a constant state of growth. It can become so burdensome that it is a challenge to keep moving. I often struggle to grow in my life because I simply can't add another thing to that list. Even when I have committed to a journey and am trying to grow in some area of my life, I find myself wanting to quit because I don't believe I can do it all.
When I find myself stuck under the weight of all my obligations, I have discovered it is better to look at what lies behind me rather than ahead. When I look back, I begin to see all that I have accomplished rather than all that I have left to do. I see that I am strong and capable. I have the talents and abilities to accomplish all of my goals. I have done more than I remember. It is astonishing that I was able to accomplish so much in such a little time.
Have you ever had one of those spring cleaning days? The kind of day in which you make more of a mess cleaning than existed before you started. Making changes in your life is much like that. You have to clean out all of the junk before you can truly clean and organize your life. At the end of one of those days, it is easy to feel that you didn't accomplish much. The house is still a big mess. However, if you look back and reflect on all that you did, you begin to realize that you actually accomplished a lot. You cleaned the hidden areas in order to make your home a safer, cleaner, better functioning space. It took some time and effort but it will save you far more in the future. When you take the time to clean out the muck in your life you will reap the rewards farther down the road.
Take some time today to reflect on all that you have accomplished. There might be a long hard road ahead with lots to do but you can do anything that you set your mind to. Just look at all that you have accomplished already.
When I find myself stuck under the weight of all my obligations, I have discovered it is better to look at what lies behind me rather than ahead. When I look back, I begin to see all that I have accomplished rather than all that I have left to do. I see that I am strong and capable. I have the talents and abilities to accomplish all of my goals. I have done more than I remember. It is astonishing that I was able to accomplish so much in such a little time.
Have you ever had one of those spring cleaning days? The kind of day in which you make more of a mess cleaning than existed before you started. Making changes in your life is much like that. You have to clean out all of the junk before you can truly clean and organize your life. At the end of one of those days, it is easy to feel that you didn't accomplish much. The house is still a big mess. However, if you look back and reflect on all that you did, you begin to realize that you actually accomplished a lot. You cleaned the hidden areas in order to make your home a safer, cleaner, better functioning space. It took some time and effort but it will save you far more in the future. When you take the time to clean out the muck in your life you will reap the rewards farther down the road.
Take some time today to reflect on all that you have accomplished. There might be a long hard road ahead with lots to do but you can do anything that you set your mind to. Just look at all that you have accomplished already.
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