We often make a choice to walk with someone through a challenging time in life. It can quickly become clear that we are in over our heads. Sometimes it is a question of expertise; we simply fail to possess the skills necessary to help. It can also be a lack of professional pedigree; you need a doctor or therapist and I am not one. Finally, it can be a lack of enthusiasm; I just don't have enough interest in the topic that you are pursing to really assist you in the manner that you need. Whatever is causing you to realize that you are in over your head, it is time to call for reinforcements.
We often feel obligated to help with any problem that a friend might bring to us and even though we recognize our own inability to effectively help, we continue to try to help to our own detriment and the detriment of our friends. It is an important step in your maturity to recognize when you are unable to help. When you realize your inability to effectively help, it is your responsibility to your friend/LifeWalking partner to call for help or encourage her to do so.
Even when we ask for reinforcements, we can still LifeWalk with our friends through the process. We can go to appointments, help with childcare, ask about the process, etc. Just because we can't fix everything doesn't mean that our part of the journey is over, many times it is just taking a new shape. Often the new roles that we take on when we call for help are quite beneficial to ourselves and our LifeWalking partners.
Do you feel in over your head in your own life or someone else's?
Who could you call in to help?
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Keep Opening Doors
A few days ago I was speaking with a friend who is trying to move forward in a few areas in her life. We have been LifeWalking these changes for a couple of months and while there has been great forward progress, she has failed to reach the level of success that she would like to achieve. She ask me the other day, "Ellen, what more should I be doing that I am not doing now?" I could hear the frustration in her voice and the near desperation. My answer to her was "just keep opening doors."
It seems like a simplistic response but sometimes in life all we can do is keep trying. It isn't that we are necessarily doing something wrong, it is only that we need to be more patient or possibly try something else. I was reminded of the movie Julie and Julia while I was talking with her. In the movie, we are brought into the worlds of two women who are desperately trying to make it work. It is mostly about making their careers work but there is a more subtle way in which they are trying to make their lives work. What impressed me about these two real life characters is their tenacity; they never gave up. In the end, they both found success personally and professionally.
You too can find the success that you desire in your life. We all need to keep moving forward. It is important that we keep open minds and a willingness to try new things when we find that we are not getting the results that we desire.
Just keep opening doors; if it takes 3 or 300 tries to get it right, all that really matters is that we get it right in the end.
It seems like a simplistic response but sometimes in life all we can do is keep trying. It isn't that we are necessarily doing something wrong, it is only that we need to be more patient or possibly try something else. I was reminded of the movie Julie and Julia while I was talking with her. In the movie, we are brought into the worlds of two women who are desperately trying to make it work. It is mostly about making their careers work but there is a more subtle way in which they are trying to make their lives work. What impressed me about these two real life characters is their tenacity; they never gave up. In the end, they both found success personally and professionally.
You too can find the success that you desire in your life. We all need to keep moving forward. It is important that we keep open minds and a willingness to try new things when we find that we are not getting the results that we desire.
Just keep opening doors; if it takes 3 or 300 tries to get it right, all that really matters is that we get it right in the end.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I Don't Have All the Answers
I often find myself in situations in which I simply don't know what to do. I come across a question for which I either have too many possible answers and I don't know which one to choose or I am completely lost and I don't have a clue what I should do. When I get into these situations my instinct is often to do nothing; I just leave it alone hoping that it will work itself out or go away if I just ignore it for long enough. Too often, that is the worst thing for me to do. By ignoring things I have missed out on great opportunities, allowed bad situations to get worse, lost time and money, and forced myself to deal with stress that simply wasn't necessary. It has become clear to me that in life it is simply better to just deal with things, come up with solutions, and move on.
Unfortunately, sometimes that isn't possible because, I as stated before, I just don't know what to do. That is where LifeWalking comes in. LifeWalking can be the solution to the problem of not having a good answer. You can make the decision to walk through possible resolutions with someone else. You can bring whatever problem you have (personal, financial, spiritual, etc.) to a trusted friend or advisor and simply ask her to walk through the options with you. She may come up with a great solution that you would have come up with on your own were it not for all the stress. She can help you to sift through the pros and cons of all possible resolutions in order to decide the best solution to your particular problem. In the end, if you LifeWalk those things that are simply too hard to process perfectly on your own you can find yourself coming up with better solutions to all of your problems. In the end, you can save yourself all of the stress, time, and money that you were losing when you were choosing to ignore the problem and you can channel it into much more productive use in your life.
What issue are you currently facing that you do not have an answer to? Who could you ask to LifeWalk a solution with you?
Go and choose to face your life with the support of someone else rather than missing out simply because, like all of us, you don't have all the answers.
Unfortunately, sometimes that isn't possible because, I as stated before, I just don't know what to do. That is where LifeWalking comes in. LifeWalking can be the solution to the problem of not having a good answer. You can make the decision to walk through possible resolutions with someone else. You can bring whatever problem you have (personal, financial, spiritual, etc.) to a trusted friend or advisor and simply ask her to walk through the options with you. She may come up with a great solution that you would have come up with on your own were it not for all the stress. She can help you to sift through the pros and cons of all possible resolutions in order to decide the best solution to your particular problem. In the end, if you LifeWalk those things that are simply too hard to process perfectly on your own you can find yourself coming up with better solutions to all of your problems. In the end, you can save yourself all of the stress, time, and money that you were losing when you were choosing to ignore the problem and you can channel it into much more productive use in your life.
What issue are you currently facing that you do not have an answer to? Who could you ask to LifeWalk a solution with you?
Go and choose to face your life with the support of someone else rather than missing out simply because, like all of us, you don't have all the answers.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Greater Love Hath No One
Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for his friends. What a truth! However, I have found that this is a truth that is often misunderstood. It is easy to think in the grand scheme that there is no greater love than to lay down your life (your actual life) for your friend but I find very few people that understand this in the day to day sense. I am working on laying my life down in the daily sense and I would encourage you to do the same.
The other day my friend wanted to get together and it was her birthday so I felt even more obligated to make it happen than I would on a normal basis. It wasn't easy to get together with her; I had to make sure that my husband was able to stay home with the kids and didn't have something else planned. I had to get all of my household duties done early so that I would be able to leave in time to meet for dinner, I needed to plan a meal for my husband and kids even though I wouldn't be eating with them and I had to make sure that all of the things that my kids needed for bedtime were ready. On top of that, I had to endure the dreaded tears and sobs of "mommy don't go" as I was leaving. That is my life; the typical life of a stay at home wife and mother but in order to be there for my friend, I had to lay that down and make adjustments to my daily schedule. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it to be there for my friend. I have had many circumstances over the years where I have been forced to lay down my life, my time, money, energy, etc. in order to be there for a friend. I have also had many friends do this for me and I can't even begin to repay them for all of the love and support that they have given me over the years.
LifeWalking is a very real and practical way to lay down your life for your friends. If you have a friend who has asked you to LifeWalk with her or if you know of a friend who is struggling and could benefit from LifeWalking, know that this is a very powerful way that you can lay down your life once or twice a week for a season in order to be there for a friend. You will not regret it.
I challenge you to search your soul and ask yourself, how truly willing am I to lay down my life for a friend?
The other day my friend wanted to get together and it was her birthday so I felt even more obligated to make it happen than I would on a normal basis. It wasn't easy to get together with her; I had to make sure that my husband was able to stay home with the kids and didn't have something else planned. I had to get all of my household duties done early so that I would be able to leave in time to meet for dinner, I needed to plan a meal for my husband and kids even though I wouldn't be eating with them and I had to make sure that all of the things that my kids needed for bedtime were ready. On top of that, I had to endure the dreaded tears and sobs of "mommy don't go" as I was leaving. That is my life; the typical life of a stay at home wife and mother but in order to be there for my friend, I had to lay that down and make adjustments to my daily schedule. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it to be there for my friend. I have had many circumstances over the years where I have been forced to lay down my life, my time, money, energy, etc. in order to be there for a friend. I have also had many friends do this for me and I can't even begin to repay them for all of the love and support that they have given me over the years.
LifeWalking is a very real and practical way to lay down your life for your friends. If you have a friend who has asked you to LifeWalk with her or if you know of a friend who is struggling and could benefit from LifeWalking, know that this is a very powerful way that you can lay down your life once or twice a week for a season in order to be there for a friend. You will not regret it.
I challenge you to search your soul and ask yourself, how truly willing am I to lay down my life for a friend?
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